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Chapter 6

Destiny
You Have the Power

You have the power within to break free from self-imposed limitations and start reaching for the next level. Will you do it? Will you help your child do it? You can throw your chest out and put a smile on your face and look for opportunities to stretch into the next level. In order to do this, positive thoughts need to be constantly flowing through your mind. The key to rising to the next level in life, or any endeavor, is to keep your thoughts on where you want to go and not let other people determine what you do with your potential.

So what if other people say you can’t succeed? So what if someone tries to pull you down? So what if a person doesn’t believe in you? Don’t allow their actions, attitudes, or comments to cause you to give up on your dreams. Teach your children this lesson. Let them know that you face the same battles in having to overcome the potential influence of people who want to pull you down. Let them know that sometimes people try to pull others down just because they are jealous.

Disappointment and rejection will come, but let your child know that it doesn’t need to get them down. They can get back up again and go on. You may have heard that it’s not how many times you get knocked down, but how many times you get back up that counts.

Mark Brunell
~ “As a quarterback in the NFL, I expect to get knocked down from time to time. Never have I gone into a game thinking I would not get up if I were to be knocked down. Unless I am hurt and can’t get up, I will bounce back up every time and go back to the huddle for the next play. It is NEVER in the Game Plan to keep lying down when I get knocked down.”

Our society gives up too easily on dreams. It’s perfectly normal in our world to give up on dreams, but perfectly normal translates to perfectly average - and I don’t think anyone wants to be perfectly average.

Try to relate to your child that sometimes it is God who supernaturally opens doors, and sometimes God supernaturally closes doors. When God closes a door, He has something better in store. Dead ends aren’t the time to give up; they are the time to look up with expectation of what is coming next. This can be a time of excitement because the door that opens can be better than the door that was just shut.

Dave Ball ~ Playing professional sports is very rewarding, but it is not always the easiest career. There are times when doors are shut and times when doors are open. My parents taught me to press on when doors are shut and prepare for the next door to open.

Transforming Rejection Into Projection
Often, out of our greatest rejection comes our greatest direction. When you come to a closed door, or something doesn’t work out in your life, regard it as God nudging you into a better direction. This is the time to project yourself into the winner’s circle. The verb “project” means “to jut out beyond or farther than something.” When faced with rejection, help your child reach beyond or farther than his or her current position. Rejection just offers an opportunity to regroup and reaffirm the vision, desire, or dreams of your child.
This is sometimes uncomfortable, and your child may not like it. But do not allow your child to make the mistake of just sitting back and settling for where he or she is. Help keep your child’s eyes open in these challenging times, because out of the greatest rejection can come clear direction that allows an unbelievable projection into future success.
The dream in your child’s heart may be bigger than the environment in which he or she lives. Sometimes, this means you will have to help your child get out of that environment in order to see his or her dreams fulfilled. Help your child keep reaching for new heights.

Proactive Living
Help your child be proactive and take responsibility for his or her life. Many people live in a reactive mode, being pushed around and dictated to all day. Proactive living takes planning and discipline; it doesn’t just happen. Sure, there are times when plans need to be adjusted and we have to be reactive to things out of our control. However, most of the time we can be proactive in our thoughts and actions, with expectation for good results because of those thoughts and actions. Children need to know how to be positively reactive when they need to and positively proactive the rest of the time. It’s their destiny at stake here.

Destiny Awaits
A child endowed with gifts and talents uniquely designed for him or her is not necessarily a child of destiny, but just a child of potential. Your child has ideas and creativity in certain areas where they will excel. Although these are certainly areas of destiny for children, they must do their part to fulfill it.

Help your child determine how to start focusing on his or her divine destiny and take steps toward the dreams and the appropriate desires in his or her heart every day. Help your child be determined to live life to its fullest, pursuing passions and dreams, and to tap into as much potential as possible. This life is not about buried treasure; it’s about investing ourselves in what God has given us for the ultimate good of our fellow man.

So, if the gifts and talents are there and the desire is present, how can your child discover his or her divine destiny? It’s not complicated. It is centered on what excites him or her. Following are three important questions for your child:

1. What are you passionate about?
2. What do you really love doing?
3. What do you not like to do?

Destiny will be found as part of the dreams and desires that are in your child’s heart. It’s part of his or her very nature. This reminds me of a quote from the book Every Day is Game Day: “Purpose begins to come into focus at the point where desire intersects with potential.” Destiny is linked to your child’s desires and potential. Of course, there are desires that have nothing whatsoever to do with destiny; in fact, some desires can lead to destruction. However, the beauty of this is that most children and parents have certain filters in place to help them understand the difference.
When a child is in line with his or her destiny, many things will come naturally. For example, nobody has to tell the owl to stay up at night. It is totally natural for an owl to operate in darkness because it has been equipped to do so. If you can help your child discover his or her purpose, your child’s life will become much more enjoyable. It won’t be a struggle.

Terrelle Smith ~ From my earliest memories, I knew I wanted to be an athlete. There were times when I played multiple sports, but I always had the feeling deep inside that I would excel to the professional level in one sport. This is not to say that it was always easy. There were times when my body and mind would say “Quit!”, but my heart would not let me. Work is not easy, but when driven by my passion to play, the work it takes to stay in “game-ready” shape isn’t work at all. My sport does not consume me, but my passion for excellence always consumes me. This transcends sport. The sport is just a vehicle for me to live out my destiny. I also believe part of my destiny is to help my siblings. Family is very important to me.

Stay True to Who You Are
Help your child to be aware of his or her natural strengths. Help your child use those strengths to the best advantage and for the benefit of others. He or she can’t do everything well, but what can be done well should be. Help your children focus on their strengths and make sure they are not focused on something that distracts from their destiny.

Many of the most talented people in the world are extremely weak in certain areas of their lives; however, they are really good at some things. Help your child get in and stay in the zone where life feels right most of the time. By operating in his or her destiny, your child will never be short of opportunities; this is just a natural byproduct of living for destiny.

However, be aware, living in destiny is not living in the absence of adversity. In fact, success, opportunity and future accomplishments commonly present themselves wrapped up as adversity. In nature, adversity and stress make diamonds and pearls possible. In life, adversity is the seed from which we likely realize our greatest accomplishments and achievements.


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